How to Communicate your Desires in an Erotic Massage Session

One of the questions I’m asked most often as an erotic massage therapist is, “How do I talk about what I want without feeling awkward?”
The truth is, open and respectful communication with me is one of the most important parts of a truly enjoyable erotic massage session.

Many clients worry about saying the “wrong” thing, being awkward, or asking for too much. In reality, open communication is not only welcome - it’s encouraged. An erotic massage is a deeply personal experience. It’s not just about touch - it’s about trust, connection, and feeling safe enough to relax into pleasure.

Here’s how to express your desires confidently and respectfully, so your session feels aligned, comfortable, and fulfilling.

Why Communication Matters in Erotic Massage

Every client is different. Some are seeking deep relaxation, others crave sensual connection, and many are simply looking for a space where they can unwind without judgment.

Clear communication helps ensure:

• Your expectations are realistic and aligned with the service offered

• Your boundaries are respected at all times

• The session flows naturally, without discomfort or guesswork

• You feel heard, relaxed, and at ease

When communication is open, the experience is always better for everyone involved.

Talking About Your Desires Before the Session

The best time to communicate your preferences is before the massage begins. I always encourage clients to share what they’re hoping to get out of the session, using simple, respectful language.

You might like to mention:

• Whether this is your first erotic massage or not

• The kind of touch you enjoy (slow, light, grounding, firm)

• Areas you enjoy receiving attention or areas you’d prefer to avoid

• Any nerves, questions, or concerns you have

You never need to be explicit or graphic. Calm, clear communication is far more effective and appreciated.

Speaking Up During the Massage

Your comfort doesn’t stop once the session starts. If something feels particularly nice, you’re welcome to say so. Likewise, if you’d like an adjustment, it’s always okay to speak up. Your comfort and pleasure is key to an enjoyable experience.

Simple feedback such as:

• “That pressure feels great”

• “Could you go a little slower?”

• “I’d prefer less focus there”

This helps me respond to your body and your desires in real time.

A professional erotic massage therapist will always welcome respectful feedback it allows the session to stay aligned with your comfort and needs.

Respect, Kindness, and Zero Tolerance for Disrespect

Mutual respect is non-negotiable.

I expect all clients to be:

• Kind and polite in their language and behaviour

• Respectful of boundaries and consent

• Free from discriminatory, degrading, or abusive language

• Understanding that an erotic massage is a professional service, not an entitlement

Discrimination, disrespect, coercion, or aggressive behaviour of any kind is not tolerated. This includes comments or actions based on gender, body type, sexuality, race, or personal identity.

When clients approach a session with kindness and respect, it creates a space where genuine relaxation and connection can occur.

Asking, Not Demanding

It’s absolutely okay to express what you enjoy but how you ask matters.

Respectful phrasing keeps communication open:

• “Would you be comfortable with…”

• “Is it okay if we focus more on…”

• “I really enjoy this, if that works for you”

Erotic massage is a shared experience built on consent, not demands. When requests are made respectfully, they’re far more likely to be received positively.

Boundaries Create Better Experiences

Boundaries aren’t there to limit pleasure - they protect it.

I maintain clear professional boundaries, and I always respect yours. If something is outside my scope or comfort level, I will communicate that clearly and kindly. Likewise, you are always welcome to slow things down, pause, or change your mind at any point. Trust and boundaries are what allow an erotic massage to feel safe, grounded, and deeply enjoyable.

In conclusion, you don’t need to say the “perfect” thing. You don’t need experience or confidence. You just need honesty, respect, and an open mind.

When clients communicate their desires clearly and treat the experience and the person providing it with kindness and respect, the session naturally becomes more relaxed, sensual, and fulfilling.

If you ever feel unsure about how to express yourself, know that gentle communication is always welcome.